The holidays are finally over! Don't get my wrong, I LOVE that time of year. Theres always enough food to feed everyone twice and no one looks at you funny when you pour yourself a stiff one before noon. Luckily for me, my boyfriends family celebrates Christmas Eve so I never have to sacrifice my regular family tradition. This year I approached Christmas morning for a semi different angle then I usually do, an extremely hungover angle. A very regrettable unplanned action. I don't know why is it I choose to sabotage myself on the second favorite day of the year (close second to my birthday). Luckily I proved that nothing can keep me for enjoying all the glories of that festive morning. After getting through a day like that with a smile on my face I must admit I felt pretty unstoppable. That was until Dec. 30th rolled around....
After years of talking about going away for a snowy New Years vacation we had finally planned something to get excited about this year. With one of my best friends turning 30 on New Years it seems only appropriate. After about 100 emails and countless hours of internet searching for a cabin rental (which over New Years is not easy OR cheap to find) we found the perfect lake side cabin. Going through Christmas knowing we still had 3 nights of worry free fun ahead of us over New Years made the holiday that much more sweet. Finally the morning of Dec 30th had arrived, we could depart on our final holiday of 2010. Chris (birthday boy, friend & driver) showed up to pick us up as planned at 7am. That is when the bomb was dropped. "I have the flu" were the first words out of Chris's mouth. Something I may have left out about myself is that I'm borderline obsessive compulsive about germs. My worst nightmare had come true. A 3.5 hour closed window drive up to our snowy heaven in a contaminated truck with a poisonous human who had spent the night puking and pissing out of his ass. I took every possible precaution on the way up but it only delayed the inevitable.
It all started around about 11pm when my ice cold Granville Island Winter Ale started to taste funny. Thats when I knew something might be up because normally that flavour of beer is beyond delicious. I decided with little reluctance that I should hit the hay early that night so I wouldn't get run down and in turn become vile and polluted with this horrific flu myself. I fell asleep rather quickly only to be jerked awake an hour later by the cold sweat draining from my pores. I could still hear everyone downstairs having a gay old time. I went to the washroom (which luckily was located adjacent to our room) as more of a test than anything. There and then my worst fears were confirmed, I had most definitely been infected. That bathroom with the shitty slanted low ceiling and the hideous vinyl floor is where I spent a better part of the next 10 hours. Luckily for me about 2 hours in to my sentence my drunk friends made there way upstairs. A little after that with help from my stank-ass booze breath boyfriend I received the best gift of the whole Christmas season, a bucket. It's amazing how much you appreciate something so small when your body is ejecting fluids from all of your orifices at once.
"You'll be fine, it's probably only food poisoning" said my lovely boyfriend Carey had said. I may be a bit of a germaphobe but come on Carey, I can't mentally give myself the flu. This was especially annoying coming from a person who has NEVER in his life had the flu. Never, which I find that borderline offensive. Anyways that paints the basic picture of my 3 days at the cabin. Carey came up at about 11:58 on New Years Eve and popped open a bottle of champagne to ring in the new year (I didn't get my New Years kiss for about 5 more days due to my toxic state). Though I did everything in my power to avoid the smell of that freshly opened champagne it's the thought that counts. 1 point for Carey.
I know your waiting for it... the reaaallly thin silver lining. I didn't once succumb to 'the fear' (meaning I didn't shit my pants). Just kidding, that hardly seems like a silver lining. I don't think I've mentioned this minor detail yet but I'm getting married in July! This I'm sure will be the topic of many rants and raves to come. Anyways, since the day Carey proposed I've been on a pretty serious diet and exercise schedule. Obviously I have no plans of being a whale on my surely glorious wedding day. There had been some cheating in the month of December and I was getting off track (and dis-pleased with my daily weigh in's). So after 3 days of puke and dia(rrhea) I arrive back home with a flat stomach, sunken cheekbones and a whopping 8 lbs lighter. My self loathing quickly turned into narcissistic pride. And so with great joy began 2011 with a nice jump start, which was enough to get my back on track to being merely skin and bones by late July.
Happy New Year to me!!
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