At some point or another everyone has met this person and been a victim to this crime. When I come across this I'm only shocked the first time as these people are usually repeat offenders. Who exacting am I referring to? For lack of a better word, oversharers. Now I know you have at least one person that instantly comes to mind. That idiot thats doesn't have a social filter on what they can say to who. I've come up with some basic guidelines to help you identify this person and place animosity where it is due.
OVERSHARERS:
-Tell personal things about themselves or others that you wish you didn't know.
-Make reference's about their sex life (when they are NOT attractive OR are related to you)
-Say funny yet revolting things with a straight face (note: laughing while giving too much info can alleviate the awkwardness and make you slightly less hated)
-Send spam emails that aren't appropriate for all 300 of their email contacts (example: A baby announcement with pictures of the birth and info about what they're planning to do with the placenta)
-Post facebook status updates about their rash that just won't go away while asking their 600 facebooks "friends" for advice.
Firstly there are exceptions to most rules and there are a few select people in your life you're allowed to indulge with too much information without an invitation. For instance when your telling a story to your closest of friends it's almost expected that your going to give that extra shocking and maybe even repulsive tidbit. It always makes the story that much more hilarious and memorable. Overall I think if you're looking for a laugh while telling an offensive or vulgar story you get a pass. Most people are willing to put aside the fact that you shit your pants if lets say in the story it was at a piano recital, while wearing khakis. But many people aren't as open to hearing about your bowels giving out if you have a straight face on and you're looking for sympathy. Thats disgusting, your rotten, take that to the grave.
Hearing about a sexual mishap can be entertaining. If a girl had a grand mal seizure while your were getting it on, I want to hear about it. However, if you physically gross me out with your clothes on I do not want to picture you with them off, let alone in a explicate story where your fucking someone who is likely equally if not more unattractive than yourself. Sorry, there is a reason why most porn is made with fit and somewhat appealing people. No one whats to think about the reality that fat, greasy people have sex with each other. Hmm this could pose a problem with my exception given above if you're close friends with greasy fat people. Well if so thats your problem, not mine.
What exactly is it about people that have babies and feel like the whole world wants to know details of the birth? To be honest I've been the person who has asked for the gory details, in which case let the flood gates open. If you've been asked for details your not oversharing. But this does not mean if someone asks the weight of the baby you have permission to spout off about the amount of fluids that gushed out before and the 10 pound amniotic sac you spat out after.
Overall I would just like to say please make sure you know your audience before you verbally assault them. Always test the waters first. Please don't make yourself that person I avoid in the grocery store.
No comments:
Post a Comment