Here in Canada we empty our shit tanks in the most human way possible. This usually involves a hose and a lever so you're never having to see whats been building up in your tank over your lovely holiday. Also they are quite large and can hold a substantial amount of human waste. In most ways Europeans are a step ahead of us. They don't have homeless people begging on every street corner, they're all bilingual, they have free university and they have the best public transit systems around. So WHY are these clearly smarter, more educated people creating motorhomes with thimble sized shit tanks that have to be manually dumped!?
After a short argument with Klaus, that German prick, we hit the open road. First things first, we knew we had to sort out some kind of schedule for who would be dumping that mini shit tank. It was clear it was going have to be done several times over the next week. There was no time for games of fortune and chance so to start it off we decided first one to use the bathroom had to empty it. This was actually Kristy's idea and quite genius. She informed me that Brett has a woman sized bladder and would most definitely crack first. Just to be safe I cautiously sipped my Heineken until Brett like a 5 year old girl, just couldn't hold it any longer. I guess the overall excitement had clouded Brett's judgement because Kristy and I can both drink a 6 pack of beer before going pee once. Plus our competitive spirit probably would have had us puking up our pee before losing at a game like that. Anyways, we'll revisit this topic later when Brett had to revisit our excrement somewhere between Stuttgart and Freiburg.
First stop, Stuttgart. It was our first night in Germany and we wanted to land somewhere fun for the evening. Of course the traffic through Frankfurt was bad and the drive to Stuttgart was longer than we had hoped. Our GPS, Rosa, took us directly to the city center. We learned a valuable lesson that night, you can take an eight foot high motor home just anywhere. We planned to find a parking lot and then hit the town of course all the parking in the middle of a city is underground and there are height limits for that. After a few arguments we found ourselves in the train station parking lot. This was our first night of urban camping. Before long we were enjoying some schnitzel and drinks. On our way back we tried to find a liquor store or a bar which of course was impossible. Luckily we had all hit the duty free pretty hard on our travels into Europe so the motor home was fully stocked. After some night caps the lulling sound of the train station put us all to sleep. It turned out the urban camping had it's bonuses, coffee and pastries just steps away inside the train station! After a wholesome breakfast we were back on the road and this time we planned to make it to a real campsite.
We drove to Freisburg on day two but not before Brett became better acquainted with the dumping of the shit tank. I've actually attached a few pictures so you can get a real idea of the kind of joy we felt watching Brett dump out our shit while blowing chunks. This was also when we realized we forgot to put the little blue puck the kills the smell in the tank before hand... oops!
Great times... Once Brett recovered made the short drive into Freiburg. This was such a cool town and Rosa led us to a great campsite. We settled in to our campsite and started to enjoy some beverages. This is when the first game of fortune and chance took place. Loser dumps the next full tank. Brett of course thought he was exempt from even playing but after a quick vote it was decided he was fully eligible. You can probably guess what happened next.. Brett's demise. When you go into a game with that much fear you don't stand a chance. The rest of us were on top of the world after our win and took celebratory dumps in the bathroom while Brett cried outside. Kidding, sort of.
We went out that night for some drinks and long story short the loss got the best of old Brett. I wont go into details but he was a complete moron that night. I'm still surprised we made it out of that town with Brett at all. It seems like he has some kind of homing device. Somehow he always made it back to the motor home, no matter how hard we try to lose him. After a morning of shame and sassafras (Brett's bitchy alter ego) we were on our way to another extremely cheap and delicious bakery for snacks then back on the road. Next stop was Interlaken, Switzerland...
