Deadbeat Status

I have a lot of traits I would not brag about.  I'm a total pig and pretty much only clean my house when I have people coming over. I run around like a psycho hiding clutter and filth so no one will know how I normally live.  I won't even touch on the on-going health hazard in my car.  I judge people relentlessly.  Mostly (but not limited to) people I don't know.  I see an XXL person wolfing down a case of donuts, I'm honestly repulsed.  I notice if you haven't brushed your teeth today.  I catch that tiny speech impediment you have, then I probably use it while impersonating you. I'm not proud of these traits.  What I am proud of is that I'm the kind of person that does what I say I'm going to do.  That being said and the fact that I also have a job means that I do not qualify for deadbeat status.  Wondering if you're a true deadbeat?

A DEADBEAT is a person who:

-Evades their basic responsibilities

-Says they will do something, but then they just don't with little or no explanation

-Doesn't have a legitimate job and has likely collected EI at some point

-RSVP's yes to a party but doesn't show

-Doesn't have a license

-Owes you money, but hopes you will forget

-Doesn't reply to texts

If you can personally relate to any of those points, you're probably a deadbeat.  I don't know when the switch was flipped for me but it seems like recently my tolerance for people like this has just ran out.  I see no reason to say you're going to do something, then not do it.  If you're not planning to follow through then be an adult and say that from the start.  Even stating you may not be able to follow through from the beginning is more respectable than blatantly lying to others and probably yourself about your actual intent.

This may seem insignificant to someone who has never planned any sort of party or event but I can't think of anything that has higher deadbeat status than a last minute bail.  Worse than that, a bail out without so much as a lame excuse via text message.  There are obviously situations where you can legitimately pull a no-show without actual offensive being taken or hearts being broken.  If someone is having a raging party, it's likely no one’s going to notice if you decide to skip it.  If you say you’re going to attend at an event where you know it's going to be a small crowd or even if food is being served it is in no way appropriate to just not show up without some form of notice.  To me these principles apply also to a facebook event.  I don't respond yes unless I have planned to attend.  It's not like there isn't a maybe option!  Bottom line, you've got to know that a lot goes into planning most events.  Think twice being a deadbeat douche bag and start thinking about someone other than yourself.

Whether it's an email, text message or voicemail (god forbid!) I feel obligated to reply.  No one expects a reply within the hour but a reply at some point is always appreciated.  If you can't take 2 minutes to reply to someone’s question you're probably a deadbeat.  Or maybe you just don't like the person enough to message them back, which on some level is the only legit excuse. But common, it's not that hard.  Replying to messages will make you that much less of a deadbeat, give it a try.

Now I know this might be a harsh reality for some but if you don't have year round employment, you are a deadbeat.  To me EI (unemployment insurance) is for people who need it to survive.  Most of us pay into it in hopes that we won't ever need to rely on it.  For some able bodied workers that just not the case.  They would prefer to sit on their asses collecting $700 cheques every 2 weeks for before seeking out employment.  I mean I can appreciate that these people have actually had to go online twice a month to claim they are still unemployed and actively looking for work.  They likely have to borrow a friends computer to do this truly grueling task.  What can I say, they work hard for their money.  

What this all comes down to is that true deadbeats are self absorbed, lazy slackers.  To all the deadbeats out there please comprehend that it's important to take time out from worrying about yourself and realize you’re not the only person on the planet.  Next time you say you're going to do something, actually do it.  Understand that other peoples time is in fact as valuable as yours.  Recognize that your world may revolve around you but everyone else's doesn't!

...Now if this blog entry left you feeling a bit sour I suggest you loosen up by purchasing a bottle of Thornhaven's Tortured Grape.  This delicious Okanagan white wine will undoubtedly lift your spirits.  Slightly above the deadbeat price point at about $20 per bottle.  This is guaranteed to make you feel like less of a deadbeat loser, even if it is just for one night!  

Who is he? G. O. D.

There's something about a solid relationship with the good lord above that I just can't help but question.  Seeing as I'm the kind of person that usually doesn't believe anything until I see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't consider myself a god loving follower.  Of course I have to judge those of you who do place so much belief in the big guy and have come to make some basic classifications of reasons behind why over 80% of the world’s population are a part of a religion.  In my experience most religious followers fall into one of these categories.

1) Family followers.  Many are grandfathered into the notion that a book full of fairy tales written thousands of years ago is in fact 100% truth.  This I can understand to a point.  Dumb people usually raise dumb kids.  Being raised knowing no better and likely never given the chance to question why it was you believed in such a bizarre combination of stories.  Stories which probably guilted you into being a better person and to not give up your v-card until marriage (keeping in mind all religions have loop holes, in this case it's usually the a-hole!)

2) Near death experience.  The odd person gets through most of life unscathed by the church life until they have narrow escape with emanate death.  Living through something traumatic often causes the victim to start sending thanks in God's directions.  Being completely helpless gives people the need to believe in a power greater than themselves, in which case they're not responsible for their own actions.  

3) Death. Living through the horrific experience of losing someone you deeply love is something that often forces people to put more thought into the whole god thing.  I think it gives people peace to think of something greater than themselves in control of a situation that must make any person feel completely powerless.  Legit? Absolutely. 

4) A place to belong in a time of desperation.  Many social programs including shelters and food banks are ran through churches.  What better time to scoop up a newbie to your religion than some who's helpless, homeless and fucking hungry.  You enjoyed that goulash? Go ahead and thank old JC, that one's on him.

5) Fear.  Why risk it? Is there such a thing as God laying down his rath? Some people don't want to wait around to find out.  Not wanting to end up shoulder to shoulder with all the people you wronged in life in a fiery pit of despair (aka hell) is a relevant fear.

Like most of the 20% out there who aren't a part of a cult (aka religion) I like to believe in something bigger than myself when it's convenient for me.  If I really want to win the lottery, I send up a quick shout out.  If someone had a gun to my head, that’s about the quickest way to turn me into a devout Christian.  Realistically though, take a second to think about it.  There's a big strong white guy up in the clouds, wearing a loin cloth with a full beard with no chest hair that is responsible for all that happens to the nearly 7 billion people on earth.  Oh wait that’s not all, he's also taking care of all the people who have died and joined him in heaven, that’s got to be another couple of billion.  What about the animals? Yep, he warms them with his embrace as well.  Call me crazy but something about that strikes me as unrealistic.

One of the main things that rage me about church goers is that lack of responsibility they take for their own actions.  So you fucked your best friends wife, call it god’s will. You murdered a man with 3 kids and a mortgage? Tell the big guy you're sorry and eventually you will go to heaven and spend eternity eating philadelphia cream cheese without gaining a pound. You shit your pants?  My apologies but there is no godly excuse for that.  Now I should say that I'm the first to spin the dradle, accept the paid holiday on Good Friday or even sport a skanky Halloween costume (that is a god based holiday FYI) but that is where I draw the line.

So what the hell does my bitter and cynical self believe in?  Without sounding like a complete hippie I'm a strong believer in Karma.  Seeing as I don't always conduct myself as a stand up human being I would like to think I believe in karma in-spite of the downfalls it has for a person like me. Of course I also believe that both timing and fate largely contribute to peoples good fortune and even more so, their misery.  When it comes to death I just can't believe once you die, that's it.  That's far too depressing.  However I also can't force myself to believe spirits float up to a dreamy and bright place where everything is sunshine and lollipops.    I would like to think that if I died I would have the ability to look down and creep on people in a way facebook has never allowed.

I guess what it comes down to is that I'm just sick of people not using their brains. I’m sick of the countless people that believe in this garbage only because they didn't stop to think about how ridiculous the whole idea is.  Yes believing in things can most definitely create a positive but aren't there better things to believe in than religion?  Believe that you are capable of something bigger than just being a follower.  Believe that in the real world saying sorry for your sins doesn't always wash them away. Believe that you’re in control of your own god-damn life.  Believe you can do whatever the hell you want on this earth without fearing the repercussions.  Believe that G.O.D. & J.C. might be the most questionable fairy tales every told... and believe that if in fact there is a hell, I'll be seeing you there.